Remember, you are not your child’s friend. You are a parent, and as such, you have to make hard decisions. This is also true for stepparents and grandparents. Do not be afraid to punish the child. The longer a child goes without boundaries, the harder it will be to correct. If a child will not reason with and respect their parents, grandparents, and teachers, more challenging discipline will become neRaising Children
Remember, you are not your child’s friend. You are a parent, and as such, you have to make hard decisions. This is also true for stepparents and grandparents. Do not be afraid to punish the child. The longer a child goes without boundaries, the harder it will be to correct. If a child will not reason with and respect their parents, grandparents, and teachers, more challenging discipline will become necessary. Start by taking away privileges and activities for a day or two. Depending on the child’s age, they may or may not need electronic devices. These devices are a great place to start with setting boundaries. This will probably cause a meltdown, but do not give in to the child. If this doesn’t work, repeat and add to the number of privileges and activities and the length of time. Again, do not give in to the child. DO NOT allow the child to run the household. THE ADULTS HAVE TO BE IN CHARGE AT ALL TIMES. (You are the Parent, not a Friend).
At some point, the parent must sit in a closed, quiet room and converse. This conversation should be dominated by the adult, with the child listening. This is a learning time for the child, not an argument. If the child argues, return to the punishments already in place. Often, a stubborn child must be worn down and understand that the parent will not give in to their demands. Again, the adult and the child must know and respect that the parent is NOT a friend but the PARENT.
Spanking a child is not child abuse, and those who think spanking is wrong have probably already lost control of the rowdy child. Sometimes, old-fashioned spanking gets a child’s attention when nothing else does. Proverbs 13 states, “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” Proverbs has eight chapters that discuss the absolute necessity of physical discipline for children. Unfortunately, the jails and prisons are full of young adults who knew no discipline growing up. If corporal punishment is necessary, do it in such a way that the child appreciates your effort. Again, there is a vast difference between spanking and abuse. Never use corporal punishment while angry at the child, but do not hesitate to use it.
Younger children, around six or seven, begin to notice what other people are thinking and become frustrated and concerned about their status. These children may feel misunderstood and have trouble expressing how they truly feel. This may develop into unsolicited complaining and whining. Not knowing how to explain their emotions makes life complicated. At this point, the child needs positive reinforcement, and their feelings must be validated and guided. Avoid arguing and drama, but remain in a parental role, not their friend. Children will start comparing your family to other families, so the parent has to be open and try to develop relationships with these other families, or at least try to understand that every family is different and will be viewed as exciting and unique to your child. Remember that from the early years into adolescence, there will not be a lot of grey and every issue will be black or white, right or wrong, good or bad, with very little in between. The parent must try to be sensitive but not become a pushover. At some point during the preteen years, the child’s friends will become more important and influential than their parents. Do not be concerned because this worsens as the child becomes a teenager. To survive as a parent, one has to remain in control and not argue. Arguing is a winner-loser situation and not productive. Try to show alternatives, suggest different points of view, and be realistic. Maintaining the parent role and not being the best friend is extremely important. Being a parent is one of the most important jobs, if not the most important. Being a good biblical parent will determine your child’s future. It is imperative to get a good start. Be the parent described in Exodus, and be easy to honor and show respect to. Hopefully, you have followed Proverbs and trained your child to know right from wrong. Now we pray that the child remembers the lessons.
The teenage years usher in new challenges that no parent is ready for or has been trained to handle. The childhood distractions and the silly issues that concern the youngster are on the verge of becoming more complicated and urgent. The child is undergoing mental and physical changes and feels like they are the only one in these circumstances. They are surrounded by others experiencing the same emotions, yet they feel totally alone. They will seek counsel from their friends and try to avoid their parents. Many issues will worsen if confronted, so allowing things to run their course may be the best answer. Unless the child is in danger, try to guide rather than to fix. Remember, you have spent twelve years trying to protect your child from everything imaginable, and now they are beginning to want no part of your suggestions. Give the child room to grow, but be close by if they ask for help or guidance. Again, it is crucial that you act as the parent and not as the friend. Do not worry about being thought of as having little or no knowledge of how the world works. As your child matures, your intelligence will return, and when your child is in their early twenties, you will regain the intelligence lost during the teenage years. Parents are never as dumb as we are accused of being by our teenage children, and we will get better. Man writes no handbook to read to find all the answers. Grandparents are often helpful, but they do not have all the answers. Other parents can offer advice, but each situation is different. With that said, we should not give up because there is a book called the Bible that does have all the answers. With lots of prayer and the wisdom found in the Bible, raising our children will be successful. Remember what 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, reproof, correction, and training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” necessary. Start by taking away privileges and activities for a day or two. Depending on the child’s age, they may or may not need electronic devices. These devices are a great place to start with setting boundaries. This will probably cause a meltdown, but do not give in to the child. If this doesn’t work, repeat and add to the number of privileges and activities and the length of time. Again, do not give in to the child. DO NOT allow the child to run the household. THE ADULTS HAVE TO BE IN CHARGE AT ALL TIMES. (You are the Parent, not a Friend).
At some point, the parent must sit in a closed, quiet room and converse. This conversation should be dominated by the adult, with the child listening. This is a learning time for the child, not an argument. If the child argues, return to the punishments already in place. Often, a stubborn child must be worn down and understand that the parent will not give in to their demands. Again, the adult and the child must know and respect that the parent is NOT a friend but the PARENT.
Spanking a child is not child abuse, and those who think spanking is wrong have probably already lost control of the rowdy child. Sometimes, old-fashioned spanking gets a child’s attention when nothing else does. Proverbs 13 states, “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” Proverbs has eight chapters that discuss the absolute necessity of physical discipline for children. Unfortunately, the jails and prisons are full of young adults who knew no discipline growing up. If corporal punishment is necessary, do it in such a way that the child appreciates your effort. Again, there is a vast difference between spanking and abuse. Never use corporal punishment while angry at the child, but do not hesitate to use it.
Younger children, around six or seven, begin to notice what other people are thinking and become frustrated and concerned about their status. These children may feel misunderstood and have trouble expressing how they truly feel. This may develop into unsolicited complaining and whining. Not knowing how to explain their emotions makes life complicated. At this point, the child needs positive reinforcement, and their feelings need to be validated and guided. Avoid arguing and drama, but remain in a parental role, not their friend. Children will start comparing your family to other families, so the parent has to be open and try to develop relationships with these other families, or at least try to understand that every family is different and will be viewed as exciting and unique to your child. Remember that from the early years into adolescence, there will not be a lot of grey and every issue will be black or white, right or wrong, good or bad, with very little in between. The parent must try to be sensitive but not become a pushover. At some point during the preteen years, the child’s friends will become more important and influential than their parents. Do not be concerned because this worsens as the child becomes a teenager. To survive as a parent, one has to remain in control and not argue. Arguing is a winner-loser situation and not productive. Try to show alternatives, suggest different points of view, and be realistic. Maintaining the parent role and not being the best friend is extremely important. Being a parent is one of the most important, if not the most important, jobs there is. Being a good biblical parent will determine your child’s future. It is extremely important to get a good start. Be the parent described in Exodus, and be easy to honor and show respect to. Hopefully, you have followed Proverbs and trained your child to know right from wrong. Now we pray that the child remembers the lessons.
The teenage years usher in a whole new set of challenges that no parent is ready for or has been trained to handle. The childhood distractions and the silly issues that concern the youngster are on the verge of becoming more complicated and urgent. The child is undergoing mental and physical changes and feels like they are the only one in these circumstances. They are surrounded by others experiencing the same emotions, yet they feel totally alone. They will seek counsel from their friends and try to avoid their parents. Many issues will worsen if confronted, so allowing things to run their course may be the best answer. Unless the child is in danger, try to guide rather than to fix. Remember, you have spent twelve years trying to protect your child from everything imaginable, and now they are beginning to want no part of your suggestions. Give the child room to grow, but be close by if they ask for help or guidance. Again, it is crucial that you act as the parent and not as the friend. Do not worry about being thought of as having little or no knowledge of how the world works. As your child matures, your intelligence will start to return, and when your child is in their early twenties, you will again regain the intelligence lost during the teenage years. Parents are never as dumb as we are accused of being by our teenage children, and we will get better.
There is no handbook written by man to read to find all the answers. Grandparents are often helpful, but they do not have all the answers. Other parents can offer advice, but each situation is different. With that said, we should not give up because there is a book called the Bible that does have all the answers. With lots of prayer and the wisdom found in the Bible, raising our children will be successful. Remember what 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, reproof, correction, and training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.”