Complaining to God

We all experience the need to complain, whine, gripe, and generally voice our dissatisfaction about a multitude of issues. Bad moods can ruin a perfect day. Some of us have personality traits that require being unhappy to be happy. Sometimes, our complaining is more serious and can be the result of past trauma or mental health conditions. We never really want to accept problems that we have created or have become associated with, so we try to deflect and blame others.  Something as simple as expecting a big, juicy hamburger and receiving a dry-up sandwich will unleash the wrath of the hunger demons we did not know existed. These uncontrolled rages and displays of ill temper always end badly, yet here we are embarrassing ourselves. Proverbs 19 accurately states, “When a man’s folly brings his way to ruin, his heart rages against the Lord.”  These circumstances are described many times in the Bible.  James 5 tells us, “Do not grumble against one another, brothers, so that you may not be judged: behold, the judge is standing at the door.”

There is no way to know when the first person complained to someone about an event or circumstance they did not like. Some poor caveman brought home the wrong kind of dinosaur, and the conversation began. We do know that approximately 1450 years before the birth of Christ, a bunch of malcontents complained to Moses and Aaron. In the Book of Exodus, the Israelites complained that Moses had made their situation worse than the Pharaohs had.  Then Moses complained to the Lord and was quickly corrected. Moses then told the group to “remember this day in which you went out from Egypt from the house of slavery, for by powerful hand the Lord brought you from their place.”  The Israelites complained about dying in the wilderness, about the water being bitter, and about being hungry.  God provided manna, quail, and water, but they still complained. In Exodus 32, the Israelites complained that Moses had left them alone, and they created a golden calf to worship.  Upon Moses’s return from the mountain, God told him to punish the idolaters. Exodus 32:28 states, “the children of Levi did according to the word of Moses, and there fell of the people that day about three thousand men.”  God does not favor those who complain and do not take responsibility for their actions. Many occasions are described in the Bible, but Numbers 11:1 gives a great example. It states, “And the people complained in the hearing of the Lord about their misfortunes, and when the Lord heard it, his anger was kindled, and the fire of the Lord burned among them and consumed some outlying parts of the camp.”

You can go to most any venue, sit quietly, and listen, and you will hear a never-ending barrage of complaining. The prices are too high at the grocery store, at the airport, the flights are late, and at church, “Sister so-n-so should not be wearing that dress.”  If it were not so sad and disgusting, it would be funny.  What kind of complainer are you?  We all know someone who is never happy.  These folks can be considered chronic complainers. They go way out of their way to find something to focus their misinformed attention. A psychologist will argue that if these people continue to ruminate and live in this sad existence, they will rewire their brains. A person with enough energy and effort can alter their lives to become positive or negative in everything they do. If not controlled, this can cause setbacks and issues that they may never recover from. If you or a loved one finds themselves spiraling, make positive corrections as soon as possible. It can distinguish between a happy, productive life and a sad and discouraging one. Proverbs reminds us that “a glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed.” Another example of complaining is a person who tries to fix a problem by letting others know about it. The wife who complains about the new gun or fishing pole is trying to keep the money in the bank account. Preventing this frivolous spending would allow more money to be spent on groceries and a new dress, which makes more sense to some of those involved. Complaining to solve or prevent a problem is usually good, but it can be misunderstood depending on how it is presented. This type of complaining is known as an “instrumental complaint.” Instrumental complaints focus on creating a plan for a change.  Unfortunately, only about 25% of all complaints fall into this category.  Venting is another type of complaining. This action allows a person to express anger, dissatisfaction, or disappointment. By venting, the person feels they have been allowed to show the world how they think and that their opinion is essential. Often, venting prevents more serious problems later.  Getting it out and addressing the issue prevents it from becoming more substantial and challenging. It is necessary to realize that happy people complain less.  Positive attitudes create positive people and circumstances.

“Psychologists hypothesize that more cheerful folks are likely to complain more mindfully—strategically, if you will—and with a specific goal in mind. When viewed this way, a rough guide for complaining emerges. Avoid dampening your mood by complaining only rarely. Complain only when you believe it will affect real and positive change. Consider whether an affirmation or another strategy would work instead of complaining. Limit your exposure to complaining by limiting your exposure to complainers.” Happy people do not complain. However, it is hard not to complain about something.

.Biswas-Diener, R. (2017, 6 13). The Three Types of Complaining. Retrieved from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/significant-results/201706/the-three-types-of-complaining?msockid=3767747ace3466830f8061d1cfbf6760